Dear Mr. President,
Sadly, the gulf between us seems to keep growing. All the document purging, agency firings, and instant geographic remapping feel like an assault on our rights. Who came up with that bizarre “Gulf of America Day” flyover proclamation on Super Bowl Sunday? Had school kids sent mailbags of cards begging a change? Or was Elon having a little social engineering fun, pushing a deluge of faux AI demand?
We all like to party, sir, but that embarrassing in-flight proclamation landed like a big nothingburger in New Orleans. The boos rivaled your cheers soon thereafter in those Big Easy, big game seats — barely a stone’s throw from what everyone knows is the “Gulf of Mexico.”
And yet, since then, you’ve thrown your fury on anyone who refuses to use your invented geographic name. Banning the Associated Press from the White House? Petty and un-American. A tyrant’s first task is to often to control the media. You’re right on track, sir.
I think that day’s wandering flight left you off-balance, with some mistaken official idea of editorial powers over the First Amendment and speech. l mean, what’s next: Black ops raids on library reading rooms? Daytime assaults at AAA Travel? SWAT teams storming fourth-grade geography? The youngsters will be traumatized watching masked men pull the sun-bleached Map of the World from their classroom walls as Ms. Rollins gets dragged off for the crime of displaying it.
That “Map raid! Hands on the table!” stuff won’t play well in the media, sir, particularly on social. Millions upon millions of maps of the Gulf of Mexico are still circulating. The public library business could prove a real hot mess — confiscating atlases, historic maps, all the dictionaries. Again, not a good look. Can our landfills handle the sudden influx?
The other night a broadcaster name-checked the Gulf of Mexico three times. A scientist referred to it as well. There’s a giant hornet’s nest of common speech pinging around out there, all of it unmonitored. It’s way beyond anything a new Name Police Force could handle. I now worry I may wake up to a new street address some morning, should its moniker suddenly be proclaimed un-American.
Among the things I hold dear, sir, are my civil rights and a decades-old Atlas of the United States, Canada and Mexico. It hails from the one time I glimpsed that iconic Gulf from the edge of Mobile Bay.
All the speech-twisting, terminations, and censorship seems downright mean-spirited to me — some of it lobbed at longstanding international friends. Given all that, please understand the tide won’t be going out on the “Gulf of Mexico” for me, sir. Ever. I may even get a tattoo.
You have your capitulators, sure, but I’ll not let Google, Apple, or anyone else force words into my mouth, or be de facto arbiters of truth, define the written word, or abridge or devalue my maps, current speech, or thinking. I’ll bow to no kings.
I think all the censorship, bluster, and instant re-geography will ultimately fall flat. The people have a history of facing down limits on language, the written word; of not yielding to fear and innuendo in this republic. Speech, publishing, a free, independent press — they’re unalienable rights. I think the AP, the Constitution, and the Supreme Court will all have my back on this one.
There is time to change course, sir, and I’d like to offer an olive branch in that vein. I’m proclaiming Tuesday, March 18 “Gulf of Mexico Day.” It will be a “people’s” holiday, tacked onto the tail end of the St. Patrick’s Day carousing, like a second Fat Tuesday. Celebrate with me, with us! Raise a cerveza or two! I think you’ll be surprised how many taverns, sports bars and pubs will be eager to join in. I’m thinking beer, drink, and burger specials — maybe fundraisers for the families being summarily deported and the NIH scientists tossed from their jobs?
This one is for the “essential workers” who got us through a pandemic, and for the teachers, nurse aides, crop workers, bus drivers, librarians. It’s for the NOAA forecasters, FWS wildlife researchers, and USGS climate scientists. It’s for the beat reporters and all the rank-and-file folks who uphold a civil society, an open government, and help this democracy function each day. Boston, Detroit, New Orleans, Houston — Ottawa, Acapulco, who knows how far this might fly?
Come celebrate the Constitution, civil speech, and friendship. We’ll have what the Irish call a good craic in the places where we share our stories, truths and plain speech — and maybe a bit of trash talk. “Gulf of Mexico Day” sir, March 18, 2025. Mark it on the calendar. This one’s headed onto the map.
The opinions expressed above are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of The Revelator, the Center for Biological Diversity or their employees.
Previously in The Revelator:
This Month in Conservation Science: ‘The Earth Is Dying, Bro’
